(To the Council, for reference: Lapse is approaching the time to be called in for testing after which he may proceed to the next stage of his training. This and other journal entries which will be available shortly have been transcribed from his effects in the past three months in order to determine when to call him. As you are likely aware, he will move on to his fourth tail and learn shapeshifting next if he has Our approval and blessing. This will thereby release him from his position as a familiar, held since his sudden Knowing and his becoming a feral kitsune from previously being a human three and a half years ago. We will determine next week whether to summon him then or wait. -I.K.M.)
June 21, 2016
Dear Journal,
Today was about as unusual as any other in the past while.
It's been...it seems like a long time. I'd look at my tag, but the sole mirror this house has isn't really reliable - it talks half the time when anyone gets close to it, assuming they're Knowing. What a strange term, Knowing...accurate, I guess, but the existence of magic to start with is unbelievable. Well, I guess would have been unbelievable besides the fact that I live it. Past few years, spent in the chains which two rituals bound, one disbelieved and the other unhopeful...not that Baltor is unkind, but I miss freedom. From what I have learned and what has been promised, I know that the world - and much more besides - can be my tool. The mission to advance the study of magic, or something like that. Yet I can't speak, I can't leave this house unless I'm constantly with Baltor, I can't get things except carrying them in my mouth, can't even scratch an itch without the danger of tearing my fur - and that's only if I can reach the itch to begin with.
I am not free.
...
...shouldn't spend too long being introspective. Last time I did that my mind went fuzzy and when I woke up my fur was covered in glitter. Took a week to get it all out. Broke a leg afterwards, too, but it was worth it to dismantle that wild pixie nest in the attic. You know the story, that was when I started writing. Took a long time to learn to write with my mouth, and I still don't care for the taste of this phoenix quill, but at least it's something. At least I can talk, even if it's just with myself.
And today I definitely wish I could talk. Ugh, just like an ill-fated wish so long ago. Not that I expect this one to come true either, so it probably will. That seems to happen a lot when magic is involved. Went walking with Baltor today and he managed to lead to some granted wishes - and I don't think the unsuspecting people expected them to come true either. Of course, I had to illusion myself (finally able to get it on my own) as a domestic dog (blegh) since a three-tailed fox would draw too much attention from the Unknowing. (You already know what I think about magic being hidden.) No leash; when he tried a leash last time, his supply room...well, despite his arcane shielding on the door, I made sure most of his ingredients were rearranged by the next time he went in. But I had fun with the oblivious people too. He was guiding pairs of people together - 'chance encounters' as they'd put it - with what they thought were innocuous gusts of wind while I went and held up one of them by being pettable (and getting in their way, if need be) and by corralling them with tails. Turns out that prodding people with fuzzy tailtips is a lot of fun when they can't tell the tails exist.
...granted, it's also rather painful to have them stepped on. No idea what I'm going to do when I have more. After causing a few meetings, a possible relationship, and several curious water balloons in crowded streets, Baltor and I headed home. Suburbia doesn't look like a place where a wizard would live, and he looks strange dressed in a business suit with his blue tie ('essence of cobalt', apparently). It was good to be back inside with all the scents which have become so familiar, and my burrow which keeps growing, and his starred robe and pointed hat (despite how stereotypical it is).
Although he dragged me out later to help with his latest experiment. Recently, I'm not sure if I've been more help or damage control, since his work on mono-pole magnetics for Shilke continues straining the testing locker's wards and occasionally requiring me to nip Baltor to get him back to reality. (I have some doubts that my role in absorbing stray essence is good for my health, but Acuria said I was fine...I miss her and wish I could be with my kind again - no, there's 'wish' and that always works out the requested way rather than the expected way.) It was pretty good that I was there today...Baltor tried a phasing shield between him and the one-and-a-half pole substance but the repercussions of his tampering with natural laws got through. If I hadn't been able to charge through the shield while patrolling the room he might still be stuck there in serious shock, vengeful lightning exacting an electrifying toll.
Unfortunately, having taken the blow for him, now I'm stuck back here in the burrow with the fur singed off the better part of my numb forelegs. Baltor rubbed them with a sweet-smelling salve after sealing off his creation and waking me. I just hope I can move again when I wake up. (Having the fur back would be nice too.) So I guess I'll try to get some rest and that's it for now, journal.
Regards for Future Self when reading back,
- J. 'Lapse' Z.
